Have you ever stopped to think about the what the term "settling" down really means?
We hear this term thrown around a lot. "Find yourself a good man, settle down and have some babies." or "When are you going to think about settling down?"
When did we start encouraging people to "settle" for anything? "Settling" down means exactly what---to accept whatever is in front of you even if it isn't what you want? To settle for something?
Why are women so eager to settle for unacceptable men nowadays? Why do we no longer value ourselves as the treasure that God made? There was a time when a woman would not have thought twice about dating a guy that was unemployed, didn't pay for dates, didn't open doors, etc. But now, we "settle" for that....why? In the name of feminism? desperation? fear of being alone? or because society has said that it is acceptable?
I don't understand it. And who are these men that have allowed themselves to be emasculated? When did men decide that being a gentleman was no longer a requirement? Not all women are willing to "settle" for a 2007 kind of guy. Some of us wanted to be treated the way we deserve to be treated.
I, for one, am in no hurry "to settle down" with anyone. I am tired of settling and being undervalued. I think I deserve the best.....because whatever man gets me, will be getting the best.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Is it ok to wear pink while I am in mourning?
I have always believed that when a relationship ends, a small part of your heart dies. I know that sounds overtly dramatic, but I think it is true. I guess that is why, we are always told to "guard our heart" and be careful of who we give it to.
So, if a part of us "dies" with the end of each relationship, what is the appropriate amount of time to mourn the death of a relationship? A day, two weeks, 3 months? Do we go by how long we dated someone or how painful the break up was? Or do we just dust our hands off and get back out there, looking for the next adventure.
What if it was incredibly painful, how long do we need to heal? What if it wasn’t that painful at all?
In some cases a relationship is like a bout of bad food poisoning. You know you probably should not have eaten the shrimp at the all you can eat buffet, but you did it anyways, and spent the next two days wishing you would die. You swear you will never ever eat shrimp again, but six months later you are ordering the all you can eat shrimp again, hoping that the results will not be the same.
A relationship can be the same way, you know in your heart you shouldn’t be dating this guy, but you do it anyways and within days you wish for a way out--even if it is a painful way out. You get out and weeks later you meet a different guy and jump into another relationship hoping for different results.
With the shrimp-you only gamble with your stomach. But with another relationship you are gambling with your heart. And if you haven’t taken the appropriate time to mourn your previous relationship-you just might be setting yourself up for a continuance of pain and mourning.
I do not believe that we have an endless supply of love in our hearts. Some of us fall too easily in love with people who are not worthy of our love, who will never love us back. We give it away so freely and just expect it to be returned. But in many cases, it is not and we are standing empty handed and empty hearted.
At some point, I think, we run out of love and where love once was, bitterness and regret reside. So,again, I ask, how long is the appropriate amount of time to mourn the death of a relationship? If we only have a limited amount of love to give, then wouldn’t it make sense for us to mourn a relationship for as long as it takes to ensure that we don’t make the same mistake again? Not that loving someone is ever a mistake, but if we continue to love the same type of people, who don’t love us back, then are we ever learning anything?
With all that being said, we only have a limited amount of time. You never know when you will be called home, so enjoy the days that are yours to live. Mourn for the loss of love, but don't hold onto that mourning, don't let it consume you and wear it like a cloak. Let your heart shine for others to see, just be careful of you give it to...make sure they are worthy of your love.
So, if a part of us "dies" with the end of each relationship, what is the appropriate amount of time to mourn the death of a relationship? A day, two weeks, 3 months? Do we go by how long we dated someone or how painful the break up was? Or do we just dust our hands off and get back out there, looking for the next adventure.
What if it was incredibly painful, how long do we need to heal? What if it wasn’t that painful at all?
In some cases a relationship is like a bout of bad food poisoning. You know you probably should not have eaten the shrimp at the all you can eat buffet, but you did it anyways, and spent the next two days wishing you would die. You swear you will never ever eat shrimp again, but six months later you are ordering the all you can eat shrimp again, hoping that the results will not be the same.
A relationship can be the same way, you know in your heart you shouldn’t be dating this guy, but you do it anyways and within days you wish for a way out--even if it is a painful way out. You get out and weeks later you meet a different guy and jump into another relationship hoping for different results.
With the shrimp-you only gamble with your stomach. But with another relationship you are gambling with your heart. And if you haven’t taken the appropriate time to mourn your previous relationship-you just might be setting yourself up for a continuance of pain and mourning.
I do not believe that we have an endless supply of love in our hearts. Some of us fall too easily in love with people who are not worthy of our love, who will never love us back. We give it away so freely and just expect it to be returned. But in many cases, it is not and we are standing empty handed and empty hearted.
At some point, I think, we run out of love and where love once was, bitterness and regret reside. So,again, I ask, how long is the appropriate amount of time to mourn the death of a relationship? If we only have a limited amount of love to give, then wouldn’t it make sense for us to mourn a relationship for as long as it takes to ensure that we don’t make the same mistake again? Not that loving someone is ever a mistake, but if we continue to love the same type of people, who don’t love us back, then are we ever learning anything?
With all that being said, we only have a limited amount of time. You never know when you will be called home, so enjoy the days that are yours to live. Mourn for the loss of love, but don't hold onto that mourning, don't let it consume you and wear it like a cloak. Let your heart shine for others to see, just be careful of you give it to...make sure they are worthy of your love.
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